Mental Load and Shift Work: 7 Things That Make Our Family Life EasierMental Load and Shift Work: 7 Things That Make Our Family Life Easier

At some point my wife said a sentence that stuck:

“It’s all getting too much for me.”

Not dramatic. Not as a reproach. Just honest.

Doctor’s appointments. School dates. Groceries. Food. The daily question: what do I cook today? Plus shift work, where no week looks like the last.

That’s mental load. The invisible work nobody sees — and that in many families sits mostly with one person. Usually the mother.

We tried a lot. Much of it was nonsense. Some of it really helped.

Here are the seven things that made the difference for us.

1. Get it out of your head — into one shared place

Mental load exists because everything is stored in one head.

The first step is simple: get it out. Into a place both of you can see. App, shared calendar, or a whiteboard on the kitchen wall — doesn’t matter.

What’s visible no longer has to be remembered.

2. Make the shift schedule visible to both

With shift work, the most important question is: who is even home, and when?

As long as only one person knows, the other can’t plan. Once both see the schedule, a hundred small “wait, are you working?” questions disappear.

3. One single shopping list — shared, in real time

No more “remind me later” and “I forgot”.

One list. Both add to it. What’s missing goes on right away — whoever happens to think of it.

4. Plan meals once a week

“What do I cook today?” is mental load in its purest form.

Plan roughly once a week what’s on the table. With leftovers, short days, and night shifts in mind. The daily question almost disappears.

5. Share tasks visibly — not silently

Not “whoever ends up doing it”, but visibly: who takes what?

That’s fairer. Because suddenly you see where the load really sits. And you can involve kids early, instead of tracking everything yourself.

6. Automate reminders instead of holding them in your head

The constant “I just mustn’t forget this” is the real killer.

What needs remembering belongs in a system that nudges you. Not in your head.

7. Use the evening to prepare the next day

Five minutes in the evening. What’s on tomorrow? What needs packing? Who’s driving?

The morning gets calmer. And you don’t go to bed with a list running in your head.

What helped most

Honestly? Not a single trick. It’s the principle behind it:

What’s stuck in your head has to come out — into a place both of you can see.

That’s exactly why I built an app that brings this together for shift-work families: shift schedule, appointments, shopping, tasks, and food in one place. It’s called ImTakt (site in German) — and the beta is now open.

If you know the problem: here’s everything about ImTakt, and anyone who starts by July 31 becomes a founding member and uses the app for free, permanently. I also wrote an honest comparison of family calendar apps.

But honestly: the seven things above help you today. Even without an app.

— Daniel